This page is dedicated to paddlers who scout the banks for a portage route before scouting the rapid. Sure, those guys at The Range Life might have some pretty impressive stories of amazing feats and daring exploits, but what about the weekend warriors in the crowd? What about paddlers who balance river time with real jobs? While I do not have a real job, years of graduate school have rendered me incapable of intuitive reactions and dulled my reflexes so much that driving shuttle is hazardous. I am here for you, documenting the cutting edge of mediocrity.